Matt’s Take: Adverts

HELLO Bloggers, readers, aliens from faraway galaxies, looking for information on the Planet Earth, who happened to stumble on this blog!

I have returned, yet again, from months of neglecting this blog and have decided to start a new ‘series’ of posts that will bear the title of ‘Matt’s Take’ and today is the first of those posts.

A small explanation for these posts is that I will find something that either amuses or annoys me and I will basically rant (maybe comically, who knows? I don’t; can I be funny? Is that possible? I’m not sure, what do you think? Oh, you can’t reply because this isn’t an actual conversation? Have I taken this too far? Should I close the brackets now? Meh, I suppose so) for all you morons- I mean all you lovely people who choose to read these posts I write here.

SOOOOO, without further ado, delay or attempts at being funny (I can’t promise that last one) here is the first of ‘Matt’s Take’ which is about Adverts.

Now, adverts are a weird thing; some are quite normal and promote the product they’re trying to sell quite well but some are just kind of, out there. They try to sell a product with explosions or unexplained things that have nothing to do with the actual product. I find that weird. Effective but weird.

One advert or rather series of adverts that amuse me are the Vanish adverts, that try and promote said brand of washing powder. The reason they amuse me is not because of anything weird in terms of advertising but because of the location in which the advertising takes place.

I’ll leave a link of one of them to better explain what I mean but basically what makes me laugh is that fact that no-one questions how a complete stranger somehow manages to get into their house with a massive box of suspicious looking white powder. In fact, rather than question the mysterious lady, they welcome her with open arms and show her all the stains in their home and expect her to do something about it.

In my head the scenario that gets conjured up is that the ‘Vanish’ lady is actually part of some kind of mob and the white powder is actually cocaine that she’s been asked by her boss to make ‘Vanish’ but when the police catch on to her trail she hides in the nearest house she can find, but is caught by a lone mother and child; at which point she needs to come up with a believable story that will keep her out of trouble. ‘What shall I do?’ She thinks to herself, ‘I could knock both the mother and child out and make my escape but adding assault onto drug charges will only complicate things further’ She struggles helplessly, racking her brain for some kind of cover up and then, in the corner of her eye she spots the kitchen! And in the kitchen, upon a counter, lies a box of supermarket own brand washing powder AND upon the living room floor lies a red wine stain from a wonderful night of passion the lone mother had spent with a Spanish wrestler named Juan. The mysterious lady then has a Eureka! moment, ‘I’ll pretend the coke is a powder that can remove stains!’ she could barely contain her excitement at her own genius.

She proceeds to advertise her newly invented product, sprinkling some of the ‘washing powder’ on the red wine stain and to her surprise it actually does the job! ‘Man, I should tell the boss we have a new potential market for our cocaine’ she thought to herself, as the lone mother rushes over, mouth agape, and hugs the stranger in her home with tears in her eyes and whispers gently in her ear, ‘Thank you’ The lone mother then begins to unbutton her dre- WAIT A MINUTE! I think I’m starting to get a bit carried away here.

ANYWAY, the advert makes me laugh. I think I’ll leave this one there, I might accidentally turn my attempt at comedy into erotica at this rate. However I’ll leave the link for that advert below, I recommend you watch it after reading my little ‘scenario’ and have yourself a potential giggle.

I’ll see ya later readers

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